In our old daycare there was a mom that was constantly hoarse. It was enough if one of their offspring hung the coat on the wrong hook, or being on the Block-crate-operated, and roared. "Three guys, it's not easy", I took her in protection. Took me but at the same time, to be never.
Then I got again young: twins. Two more boys to our then four-year-old. Plus our seven-year-old, a little stubborn. As the Younger mobile were, I felt more and more at the day-care centre mother recalls.The method "shout" from
it seemed to work at first, and to blow off steam. If in the evening, for example, extended dresses in the lamps flew, collectively, the brushing of teeth has been denied, or the high bed, rocked in my read-aloud stories listened to.
Like the meerkats you saw me then, my Four. The Chaos seemed to be broken. The dresses arrived at your place. The teeth were cleaned, or you made them docile brush. But the Problem was: The method uses. And the next Time you have to shout longer and louder to get through.Dynamic and imaginative in contact with our loved ones.
a book fell In one of those phases in my hands: "to Educate without lashing out" . In the meantime, I think that neither a consequence nor a sophisticated educators are strategy is the key for a harmonious Family to each other. The key, the quintessence of four weeks of Anti-Disengagement Training, is that we are dynamic and imaginative in contact with our loved ones. Since then, I experience myself not as a tone specifying and rules set-up by the end of the instance. But as one that takes advantage of the fact, which in my case was always abundant: fantasy. Get the book "Educate without lashing out: How I stopped my children to yell at, and how you can do this" on Amazon!
But first, maybe to the Background of the method. Author Sheila McCraith, who has four children – all boys! and their mothers cry-seizures healed wanted to become, had started a Blog in which she documented every day of her behavior: "365 scream-free days".The Trick with the orange Rhino
A Symbol of inspiration, you should help the challenge. The idea that it could be, came to her, as one of your children in the nose popelte. Nose, Rhino... When Googling, she learned that the pachyderms are, by nature, a quiet, peace-loving animals that show aggressive behaviour if it annoys you. Bingo!
The author describes how she decided to want to a normal, grey rhinoceros, but so warm and full of love like the color Orange. And as for all these Considerations, the "Orange Rhino" was created – the orange Rhino, the Symbol for momentum, heat, and goodness.children seismographs
say you asked your boys, every Time, if your mother annoyed or motzig, 'Orange Rhino'. And the maneuver started with a simulated dirty-attack. "Orange Rhino! Orange Rhino!“ Why didn't you come earlier to this Trick? Your children loved to pop up curse words in the head. Ass face. Popelnase. Fast Orange Rhino had become the favorite game.
And just as quickly the "orange Rhino" was also with us, home to the Hit. Children seismographs. Maybe because you have seen it a thousand times: what it looks like when the Mama, the eyebrow goes up. Or the pulse. Or the voice. While as a mother herself to be caught, to have for such Details Sensors.For the internal Cool-Down sufficient to bind a few seconds
A hearty then geschmettertes "Rhino" has recommended a similar effect as the famous imaginary stop sign, the psychologists like to automated behaviour. A milk lake on the table, unfinished math homework, or the classic, just with the Small clothes that do not want stubbornly to the body? What would it, the already difficult Situation through their own Loud-Be fuel?
Actually sufficient for the internal Cool-Down, often just for a few seconds, I've found. McCraith is recommended to remove themselves from the Situation, to go to the next room. In the kitchen, for example, the keyword milk-lake. And then? Kitchen Cabinet in, cry in, kitchen Cabinet. "Cereal has no feelings," says McCraith. "Children already."With the children "dance", instead you think to precautions
I to me that you have to weigh the perhaps understandable reasons, which have led to the emotional turmoil, however, as a constantly roaring mother years later, in the memory of a child saved. "Life is not about waiting until the Storm is over, but learning to dance in the rain", sung by the American Jazz legend, Viviane Green a quote, the McCraith in your book, a whole page is dedicated to. And that became for me almost a kind of Mantra, since I started 25 days ago, to document with the help of a dash list cry free days.
Finally, the energy-Packed nature of my twins hardly hope that scenes like the bed Bring in the near future, of a quiet and relaxed place to go. But when I'm ready, me on the Temperament of my kids involved, when I with you "dance" instead of maßzuregeln permanent, then tu I me easier, definitely.The N-word sometimes needs to be not more pronounced
"But your boys, this "orange Rhino don't understand" because, as a free letter?" a friend asked me. According to the Motto: The could afford to Yes, now everything, where you know that the corresponding reactions in the absence of? "Do you," I said, amazed himself about how cooperative us the Rhino.
When brushing your teeth, for example: Not infrequently, the procedure ended with us earlier with children who were floundering in a headlock, and a mother who commented on the Whole. Now the N must not be spoken-word sometimes. Since we hold together "lead to an occasional short Pause war" against the bad guys Karius and Baktus, the evening Ritual of pure pleasure. "Do you really want that this attack creeps your teeth?" This question is enough for it to be running with us in the bathroom.Yes, education may be taken lightly
And it is running better than ever. Thanks to speaking with a washcloth, and socks, don't whine, if you must to the feet. Ideas that come only once muss, that's true. But the one does, if one is benevolent. And not just basic annoyed with latent unsheathed finder Show on the road.
that's Exactly it for me with the Anti-Disengagement Training: an attitude, which calls itself again and again into consciousness. Yes, education should be taken lightly! Yes, to laugh at yourself is allowed! The hidden camera is next to the cry-in closet, one of my favorites, if it is exhausting. One should imagine, would be observed during its outburst, advises McCraith. In fact, the usual escalation prevents, as I find in the garden is an exploded diaper, the contents of self-built water bombs, how will I know.baby photos of the children placed in Spots where it often POPs
Who will it have been who came up with this idea? Since I don't have to think long. First place in the ranking of the Jokester of our family keeps our Youngest. Frieders half-guilty, half-grinning To the floor-Look at me now, actually, again on the palm. But before any one of my children spotted the Rhino in me, I'll do something else: I laugh hearty – because that's exactly what I would do, would I, for example, the hoarse Kita-mother in this Situation.
don't forget McCraiths Immediate action if one threatens to explode in spite of all the efforts. Her tip is to place baby photos of the children in Places where it POPs often. "They remind you of how vulnerable children are." Especially, Frieder, four weeks early and born at the time, so tiny and small, to call my attention, is enough. Then I take the little guy in the Arm. "You are now very uncomfortable that the mom must be so angry because she has to clean up a lot," I say. And I hear a faint, relieved, "Yes-aaa-ha".How often criticism is aimed much lower than they actually should?
And it doesn't sound like a free letter, this Yes, more compassion, and then, thinking about the next Time maybe the consequences of your own actions better. And then we scrape together the soaked diaper crystals from the freshly-mowed lawn, and help others – voluntarily. Maybe it's because I'm packing the last remnants of resentment that's somehow still in me, in a gibberish, resulting in a Moody climate of cooperation. And not, as usual, a reflex-like.
From McCraith, I find singing always new forms to critique: dense, whisper, or even. The silly as that may sound, it pulls you in, but – and in the end less contrite porcelain. Because, let's be honest, how often criticism is aimed much lower than they actually should? It is mainly my own frustration and Overwork, which provide unfiltered in the Other land and, accordingly, for injury?responsibilities are reversed, hierarchies, undermine
to be documented Against the powerlessness and the danger of the loss of Control of the Anti-Disengagement Training keeps a kind of a spacer of Europe: McCraith advised things, the nerves, the Smartphone. So I want a picture of. The chewing gum on the pillow. The front of the door, forgotten football shoes. Possible that you eliminated the Chaos at the end, nevertheless, more even – five-year-old and gum removal, which is not a good combination. This Moment, however, in the you: is There something between me and the unpleasant situation, and now, it is important to make this in-Between - can help.
realizing this can result in things like high official of the premium of those who never forget your sneakers at the door – including the award ceremony. Better than any verbal chastisement, the acts, even if the orange Rhino from a teacher-perspective, is probably a No-Go: the responsibilities are reversed, hierarchies undermined. "Your children will raise you so recently?", some ask. "Yes. Because I get no other method of faster Feedback, if a Situation and especially my behavior out of control, threatening to run“, I think to myself. And that I can do it more and more often, the Same rumzureißen.Not in the case of an immediate measure, shout tap
in fact, The longer the list is, showing after 30 days, at least 28 lines, the more ideas come to you. To play instead of the impeller, if the children are to come to the table, they are asked: "Who dares to the cereal?" And prompt all have fun. On the way from the bathroom to the bed and "ride" the guys on a flying carpet: a blanket, on the I along draw the corridor. This is a little exhausting, but guaranteed that no one lags behind and all are on time departure and ready for bed.
"Wow, that costs everything", was the girlfriend, I told of my experiments. And that was certainly more than challenging, ever-New things and not to fall into the trap of immediately measure screaming. "Power costs," said I, "that's right. But I have a spare now to have been elsewhere. Since I no longer shout.“In the kj Freak out tantrum education fantasy
Publish Date : 29 Ekim 2018 Pazartesi 10:01
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